How to say goodbye to the meant to be courageous

　　Consulting case:

　　I with he together for eight years, a lot of people to hear that, would be a face of envy: a relationship can maintain for so long is not easy ah, two people must have been together a long time in long... I will also appear to be very fit yourself very happy, very enjoy it. But, in fact this eight years to give me more pain than pleasure. I want to end this evil reason for many times, but both of us is not broken.

　　I say the two of us is evil reason, because we are together is more of each other. I can't stand him don't take me seriously, don't respect me. Have kept in touch with him and his former girlfriend, often in front of my former girlfriend gushing praise, he said his former girlfriend tall, appearance beautiful, smart and generous. Let me no mercy and derogatory. He asked me: "why don't you like to wear a skirt?" Can not wait until I reply, he went on to say: "I know, because your legs are too rough!" Was really like a slapping him to death.

　　He often is degrading, and so not only in private, have friends in he, too, rarely take care of other people's feelings. I often comfort yourself, his character is unhealthy environment formed in the childhood, his father is also a great man's doctrine, very rude to her mother. I should have tolerance he, understand him and guide him. Results show that it is all expect and clunky. I talked with him several times, but he won't listen my words, one ear in one ear and out the other. Finally, I was exhausted. I said to myself: can't anymore, so I can't stand any more. But, when I break up with, "he said, he is always easily a few words will give my heart melted.

　　Once, when we go out to play, he complained constantly along the way: the train was late, hotel service, restaurant meals stomach, tourist attractions have no merit... I had a good mood were stained with he. Finally, I also because take a wrong bus, take the wrong road, was scolded by the ground. Once again I angry to say break up. This time he agreed. After break up, I miss him very much, will often think of his good: him attractive, very capable and very funny... He had a period of time, but also because loathe to give up, come back to me, we together again. Then the cycle repeated quarrel, break up, and a good drama.

　　Expert analysis:

　　Why always so hard to let go? Because the breakup is pain. Be lover wrongly treat painful, want to cut off the affection silk, could be more painful. Attachment system makes us miserable when breaking up, can't wait to want to return to the lover the arms of safety. Brain scanning imaging results show that the time of break up, we have an area of activity in the brain, and hip fractures. So, the pain of break up no less pain of the body. And, due to the break up, we have attachment system is triggered, our mind will be filled with two people together of the good memories, and a lot of unpleasant experiences will be temporarily forgotten. At this time we couldn't remember what brain, anxiously looking forward to a reunion with partners. Even when sitting together with partners, will be more comfortable than with family and friends together. It is because of this simple reason, many people even want to break up, also hard to say it. Tend to break up many times, finally together

　　Break up is really sad, but everything will pass, tomorrow will be better. Here are a few strategies to help you overcome the pain of separation:

　　1, ready to support network in advance. With family and friends to share your real situation. When your mind is filled with happy memories, let them tell you the truth.

　　2, in the first few days of break up, to find a safe warm place to live. Thanks to the lure of the composite is very strong, must look for the support of all around.

　　3, in other ways to meet the needs of the attachment. And close more people to stay together, do something to relax more, such as: do a massage, exercise, and eat their favorite foods.

　　4, write down all must break up the reason. To remember unpleasant experiences, write them down. When the brain is full of good memories, write down all the reasons to look again.

　　5, if after break up can't resist and contact each other, don't look down upon yourself. Although after a breakup is best not to contact the former, but if I can't help contact, also don't abandon. The more you feel the pain, the more want to go back to the past in a false sense of security.

　　6, accept the pain, and tell yourself no matter how painful now, everything will be past. Pain is real, and when he broke his leg, acknowledged the pain, to oneself good points. And most people can walk out of the shadow of break up, be happy.